An old man lived alone in his house, and he didn’t want to live that way anymore. So he climbed out of bed, put his false teeth in his mouth, combed his white hair, ate a bowl of oatmeal, drank a cup of coffee, and then he got in his car, and drove to the SPCA.
He wanted a cat to keep him company, and adopted a Cymric cat. Skinny, with long orange hair, it was missing one ear.
After carrying the cat to his car, the old man drove to a pet store to buy cat food, and a leash and harness. When he got home, the cat followed him to the kitchen, and he set the bag of items he bought on the counter.
“Would you like something to eat?” he asked the cat.
“Yes,” the cat said. “I’m starving.”
The old man opened a can of cat food, put it in a bowl, and the cat ate it.
“Would you like a saucer of milk?” the old man asked.
“Yes; I’m thirsty.”
The old man went to the fridge, poured milk into a saucer, and the cat lapped it up.
“Would you like to go for a walk?”
“No,” the cat said, and he walked to the kitchen table, and sat under it.
The old man, who couldn’t understand a word the cat said, took the leash and harness out of the bag. “You’re going to love wearing this.”
“No; I won’t,” the cat replied.
Kneeling by the table, the old man put the harness on the cat, and clipped on the leash. Then he tried to walk the cat out the door, but the cat hissed, and stepped back.
The old man pulled on the leash, but the cat spread his claws on the hardwood floor, and scratched it, so the old man removed the harness, and went for a walk by himself. When he returned, the cat was sitting on the kitchen counter, and he tried to pet him.
“I’m not touchy-feely,” the cat said, jumping down from the counter.
Every day for a week, it was the same. The cat refused to go for a walk, and he wouldn’t let the old man pet him. So the old man drove to the SPCA, and got a dog: a Standard Schnauzer with black hair.
When the old man brought the dog home, he took him to the kitchen, opened a can of beans, and put it in a bowl. After the dog finished eating, he started barking.
The cat came into the kitchen, and hissed at the dog. “The dog has to go.”
“What’s wrong with you?” the old man asked.
“The dog will kill me.”
The dog shook his head. “No; no. I’m a good dog.”
After that, the old man spent his time with the dog. Every day, they went for a walk, and the dog let the old man pet him, and rub his back and belly.
Every night, after the old man went to bed, the cat slept on top of the fridge; and the dog sat by the fridge, and growled at the cat.
A month went by, and the old man couldn’t understand why the cat didn’t like the dog, so he made an appointment with a veterinarian. He drove the cat to the animal hospital, and the receptionist took them to a waiting room. The old man sat on a chair, and the cat sat under the table.
When the vet came in, he asked the old man, “What can I do for you today?”
“My cat hates my dog. He hisses at him all the time.”
The vet knelt by the table, and looked at the cat. “He’s missing an ear. What happened to him?”
“I don’t know,” the old man said. “I got him from the SPCA.”
“A Rottweiler tried to eat me,” the cat said to the vet.
The vet stood to his feet. “What kind of dog do you have?”
“A Standard Schnauzer.”
“It’s normal for a cat to be afraid of a dog. And some Schnauzers do attack cats.”
The old man shook his head. “Not my schnauzer. He wouldn’t hurt anyone.”
“He’s planning to kill me,” the cat said to the vet. “He taunts me every night.”
“Can you do anything for the cat?” the old man asked.
“I’ll give you a prescription for diazepam. It will help calm his fear.”
“Let’s try it,” the old man said.
“Let’s not,” the cat said.
After leaving the animal hospital, the old man drove to a pharmacy, and ordered the diazepam. When he got home, he mixed the drug in the cat food, and put it in a bowl.
“I don’t do drugs,” the cat said, staring at the bowl. “I’d rather starve.”
The old man tried for two days, but the cat refused to eat the diazepam. So the old man put the drug in the garbage, and fed the cat normal cat food.
But he warned him: “You need to learn how to get along with the dog.”
“That beast is not my friend,” the cat said. Then he hissed at the dog.
“I didn’t do anything to you!” the dog said.
“You will,” the cat replied.
That night, after the old man went to bed, the cat jumped down from the fridge, and went to the bathroom to drink from the toilet.
The dog followed him, and said, “The master is good to you, but you won’t go for a walk with him, or let him pet you. You need to be taught a lesson.”
The cat finished lapping up water from the toilet. “Try it.”
The dog growled, charged at the cat, knocked him into the toilet, bit down hard on his tail, and wouldn’t let go.
The cat yowled, broke free of the dog’s bite, and jumping out of the toilet with his claws spread wide, he landed on the dog, and scratched him on his back, belly, and face.
The sound of the cat yowling and the dog yelping woke the old man up. He got out of bed, and hurried to the bathroom.
“Stop it!” the old man shouted.
The cat was still scratching the dog, so the old man kicked the cat to the wall, and stood between them.
“Why are you two fighting?” he asked them.
“It was self-defense,” the cat said. “He tried to kill me.”
“No; no. I just wanted him to be nice to you,” the dog said. “He doesn’t love you like I do.”
The old man saw how badly the dog was scratched. There was blood all over the bathroom floor.
“You’re a mean and nasty cat!” he thundered.
“I’m the victim here,” the cat said. “The dog got what he deserved.”
The old man picked up the cat, walked to the front door, and threw him outside.
And after that, the dog never attacked the cat again.